I know you. It is the night before your first day as a school leader. You will probably not sleep much tonight. Eventually, the morning will come, and when you get up, likely before the sun, you will begin a journey I can only describe as sacred.  As a former public school principal and founder and a head of school in independent schools for close to 20 years, I use sacred with intention. According to National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), there are about 100,000 schools (and thus, school leaders) serving about 54 million young people in our nation’s public and independent schools; this service is bigger than any of us as we both encounter humanity’s beauty and messiness, and contribute to a good life and a better world.

Many believe they understand our role and certainly have opinions about it. We hear from “experts”  and thought leaders about what we practitioners should do. But rarely are these messengers those who wake up before dawn, greet the children, write the lessons, console a child when she cries, share wonderful or difficult news with a family, make unpopular but necessary changes, withstand criticism for a decision that was more complex than anyone was willing to admit, or smile ear-to-ear at the theatrical monologue of a child who once would not speak. 

So, as one practitioner to another, at the end of these 20 years of headship, here are five things I offer as you begin.

1. Gather the young people in your communities with intention. Recently, there has been an outpouring of research on the decline in religious affiliation, community and the kind of civic engagement that makes for human connection and meaning. Taken together with the fact that workplaces are increasingly online, schools are among the last places where we learn to gather and interact closely with people from all walks of life, where young people learn to engage, listen and take care. We are their best chance to experience human interaction, creativity, and thoughtful debate. In our schools, they can learn (or not) that a vibrant democracy requires a palpable understanding and appreciation of difference, a sense of humility and what I call “one of many-ness,” and the importance of many voices. Every day, we are charged to ensure these millions of young people learn how to support, push, befriend, engage, and live in peace alongside their peers. At every chance, encourage your classrooms and hallways to be filled with conversation, with deliberation, with playful engagement, and dynamism with adults who believe in and find ways to learn more about this essential charge of our work.

2. Center the practice of thinking.  Schools are for learning to think about ideas with others. Our students want and deserve to engage in a variety of exercises daily that inspire and empower the life of the mind so they can use their minds well. In the mid-2000s, at my fledgling public school, we worked on tools to inspire and assess exceptional teaching. To do this, instead of measuring the exact structure of a lesson or its adherence to any planning tool-du-jour, we began with the core belief that a good lesson should maximize the number of minutes that students are made (or invited) to think. We don’t need brain scans to assess: thinking in a lesson can be defined as writing, debating, considering, weighing alternatives, or consulting others. It can at times include listening to a lecture, but thinking is about more than listening: It’s about being provoked, challenged to change your mind, pushed to link two disparate ideas together or to inhabit another’s perspective, even (especially!) when it contradicts our own. Our job as leaders is to move heaven and earth to ensure our students get this daily practice, so support your teachers to measure their success by maximizing thinking minutes every day.

3. Elevate the art and science of teaching. Given this high bar, we have work to do. Our teachers are leaving the profession, some before they ever begin, and they are doing so because we are not always really seeing and hearing them. Teaching at its best is an ineffable, almost magical practice, but we lean on the science more than the art. Yes, we need the science of teaching and constructing a great lesson is a precise business. But you know that great teaching is grounded in empathy, instinct, style, and love.  It is one of the most purely human acts and most meaningful vocations we have ever dreamed up, going all the way back to the oral traditions around the fires and in the forests. We need to see those teachers, talk about them, seed their great work with time and resources, and nurture a culture of collegiality and restless innovation that creates space for breakthrough ideas to ignite. Encourage teachers to bring their nascent or partially baked ideas to you and others, invite and offer feedback and try new things often.

4. Practice patience over speed. Our role brings us face-to-face with our own vulnerabilities, our values, our strengths and true weaknesses. They show up in rubber-hits-the-road moments of decision, and we are often standing alone against those banging on the door (or on the keypads of social media) with clarity and urgency uncomplicated by careful thought, and a desperate need for you to fix the problem. They will want fast and visible actions and consequences. And you won’t want to but you will need to hold steady: steady in the fact that multiple truths can be held at once, steady in your responsibilities to lead despite the noise, steady in your convictions and your focus on the students in your charge. Despite every bone in your body telling you to act quickly, you will need to stand firm, breathe, and slow down.  It does no good to simplify complexity in the spirit of speed. In a world that has no patience for patience, this may be the greatest lesson we can give our community and our students.

5. Walk on the high road. This job can bring us to our knees; resilience and grace are required in equal measure. Because we are all human and flawed, we are subject to challenging behavior in our students, parents, and even at times our own colleagues. When the job feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to take a break. Take a long walk, go quiet, or rant to a close friend or family member. Then, get on the high road: stand up, walk around, and find some kids and teachers who inspire you. That teacher. This student. The way the teacher read that passage with so much excitement and passion. The way that discussion demonstrated comfort with a complexity that would confound most adults. Remember that this high road is the only one we have, and our communities will see and mirror our behaviors and values as they see them. Take care of yourself so that you can be the one students want to emulate.

To do what must be done in our schools and for our students is a massive undertaking. The need for evolution is everywhere: to refresh our purpose of education, to increase the reward and number of great educators of the next generation, to bring curriculum up to date, to optimize the potential of artificial intelligence while solving for its dangers, and so much else. As school leaders, no less than all of this is our job, and we will do it while spinning plates and juggling balls of fire.

In between moments of heart-wrenching difficulty, fortunately, many more days will leave you in awe. From the moments our students run to greet each other in September, with fresh school supplies in new backpacks, to graduation day full of pomp and ceremony, and plenty of the 400,000ish minutes in between, there will be rushes of joy and satisfaction that remind you that we are doing the best, most world-changing, heart-swelling work there is. Best of all, those moments will remind you that this is bigger than any of us and that we have perhaps the best chance in our work to get us all just a little bit closer to that more perfect union and the best of all possible worlds.

So, sleep or no sleep, we’re off. I wish you joy, laughter, and a persistent sense of purpose in this our shared vocation. Thank you for joining us as we go.

We are proud to announce that Allison Gaines Pell recently joined the Carney, Sandoe & Associates Team. This article was originally published by the National Association of Independent Schools on the Independent Ideas blog in August 2024.